Seahorse in South America

This is an excerpt from my latest journal entry. It made me so happy to write it I wanted to post it here too. And say that i love my friends so much. It’s so good to be back home, I missed all of you so much! ok enough with that.

A lot of things have washed over me. Things I thought for certain would be bothering me, things that I associated with being home and under the pressure, simply don’t. Like riding the train, or laundry, or not being on one adventure after another in a foreign land. For the most part my mind is calmer. Ive answered alot of my own questions in my absence.

Sleep on the other hand is hard to come by. After all this time spent alone in the jungles, on 20 hour bus rides and in cities isolated by language barriers. Only now is being alone becoming a problem. The problem is they cant all be Sundays in New York like this last one. It made South America seem millions of miles away, a thought I wasn’t ok with when I was away. But now that I realize what I have. Leave it to me to make it complicated, I am my mother daughter after all. I’m the one has to go half a world away be able to see what I really had laying right at my feet. It fucks with my head. If you have heard me say it once you have heard me say it a thousand times ”I love my life.”

Sunday I laughed so hard I cried. I started with a long sleep in my own bed. the first one Ive had since Ive been home. and big hug from my favorite long hair followed by vegan hippie brunch at the Black Star CO-OP. It smelled like my adolescence in there, nag champa, deadlocks, and forties of Old E. I also got to ride in the original “van down by the river” all the way down to the waters edge where I barred witness to the sham wedding of two of my best friends.

Erin in all her beauty, just as my minds eye would have pictured her on this overcast March day. Clad in combat boots, a tacky white dress a few sizes too big for her and a shit eating grin. In the shadow of the Brooklyn bridge, having just come back from a physiological evaluation. Posing on fire hydrants with her dress almost over her head, glittering with sequins. even I was jealous it wasn’t my special day, but you should have seen jealousy rear its ugly head on Canal street “lucky bitch” looks.  So i guess Mike is off the market ladies step back.

A Chinese fire drill for cigarettes, soda and chocolate. Without hessitation I was whisked into the city for some pre yoga cocktails and coffee. I have forgotten what stretching feels like. Or a good laugh with a few amazing girls in spandex.

Stole another shower, then it was time for our ”master pose” of the day. A trip to the “Square” and the “Garden.” By square I mean Times Square and by Garden I mean Olive Garden. Illuminated by the giant M&M’s dude acting as though he was a night sun. I laughed till i screamed with a few of my favorite people on the planet. Not sure if anyone from New York with the unfortunate affliction of being too poor to be anything but sober and living off of gift cards in a tourist trap has ever had this much fun in times square….ever, period.  After eating joke cakes, stealing, the pepper shaker, watching Erin smash food on her face for a luagh for the 945th time since Ive known her, rubbing our hands together like pure evil, raising Rita’s stress level to a 7.4, and showing a few girls from France what being from America is all about. The bread-sticks are just as amazing now as they were back then in case you were wondering.

It was time to make and exit, flee the scene. Melissa, Rita, Erin and myself chased one another down all but dodging traffic straddling the center divider of one of the most famous neon hell holes the world has ever known. Doing nothing to stop the scene we were creating. pinching, poking and running screaming and laughing. assaulting your friends has never been so fun.

Looooooooonnnng train ride home. Capped it off with some catch up time with one of my best girls over a singular glass of wine at our local.

Who ever said a bird never flew on one wing doesn’t know jack. 

my brother is taking over. i have lived off a diet off gummy bears and beef jerky for the last t days now. im wondering if this perfect balance of complex sugar and protein will make me skinny or fat? id like to take a poll.

we got our visas sorted for Brazil today and I’m pretty damn proud of myself. all my cards will be here tomorrow. i am almost a person. i cant believe it.

spent all day with some cats at a cemetery. meow meow.

We keep running into the same street dog. he even pops up in locked buildings while I’m trying to get cash out of the ATM. starting to think he is following us.

I feel like i live in Buenos Aries and I’m working for the weekend. All i do is run errands to get me identity back and then drink at night because I’m happy the day is over. I wish I cold just run errands all day and never get a job. in that way in so good at getting shit done as long as I don’t think of it as work im happy.

other things that make me happy……I’m happy to be blogging again. I took a break for the cruise for expensive internet and nothing to report except for what i ate that day.

mark my words no six year steal from me. I hope I don’t eat those words. hackers get younger every year.

on another note alanis rules. i forgot about one hand in my pocket and I’m sorry but its doing me right. right this second.

just found a cheap hostel in Rio. its such a good find this shit is so expensive this time of year. karma is coming back my way. carnival here we come.

Let me start by saying i love my life once again. i left Mendoza bounds for Bueans Aries on Thursday night and i had yet another amazing experience on a night bus.

i was trying to open the bathroom door on the bus which is always somewhat of a project and the CO driver of the bus offered to help me. After a scary peeing in a moving bus situation i came out and the co driver offered to let me sit up front with them and have tea. its called matti made most popular in Uruguay and there is a whole ritual involved. with loose leaf tea and a metal straw and i couldn’t think of a better time to try it.  The whole thing was really amazing. they even offered to let me drive the bus. but i though i shouldn’t in-danger 100 people on a double decker bus. all and all a good decision.

So i got to Buenos Aries feeling quite proud of myself. and when i say it finally happened I’m not talking about the matti. it was finally time for me to pay my dues to the travel gods. after all the amazing places Ive been lucky enough to go it was finally my time to be robbed of everything. by some kid in an Internet kiosk. and when i say everything i mean it. My passport, all my cards, all my cash, except for 12 pesos, my 3rd ipod Ive had the pleasure of owning in my life (went big and went for the ipod touch), both of my cameras, my new digital and my vintage 35 mm Minolta (given to me by a good friend 8 years ago, which i alot feel like i lost on this trip), my only pair of long pants, and a journal given to me by one of the first people i ever loved that i have taken everywhere with me since, and my feeling that I’m invinvcible. somethings will come back with time. some i will never see again.

I hope that little kid aleast got laid or at least got to eat meat for dinner. because i bet his boss was pretty stoked when he saw the awesome loot i had in that bag. it was almost to heavy for me to carry. i wonder what kidda tunes that little kid is listening to now in my ipod.

I am still so very lucky despite my misfortunes. I have a good friend here in Buenos Aries who was willing to take me in once he found out what had happened. I took my last 12 pesos and got in a cab to his house. i explained to the driver this was all the money i had in the world and he said in broken in English he would take me even though i didn’t have enough money for the fair. I don’t think he realized once i got there just how bad off i was. i felt so naked without my day bag. i spent so much time looking after my stuff only to get lazy the last month of my trip. i guess i think of Buenos Aries as a second home and i just got lazy.

So without a Penny to my name this barley knows me is letting me crash at his place and keep me fed. i had to wait the whole weekend to the embassy to open. i was the second person in line this morning. i had my picture taken by a guys across the street in the park. who had a white backdrop hanging from a tree. 20 pesos later I’m on my way. I was short 26 pesos from getting my passport when it came time to pay. i started to panic but i just sucked it up turned around and asked this mother daughter duo i had been chatting with if they could let me have 26 pesos. it was a tough thing to do but i got my passport in about an hour in the end. i look like greasy little muffin in the picture as apse to my awesome 80s bleach blonde look in my 2004 passport. that fucker was almost full.

So the rest of today ive spent walking miles to the Brazilian embassy and the American Express to get a credit card. but all that walking not a penny to my name to take the subway or a bus and the result is. i know ill get my Brazilian visa just in time to leave Sunday and i have a credit card to eat with. not that anyone takes American Express but i will make it work. all my cards should be here Thursday and my little brother arrives tomorrow afternoon with a care package of money, makeup and moral support. so things are looking up this time tomorrow i should be eating steak and drinking wine again.

Ive got my feeling that I’m invinvcible back. it feels good.

The best part is two night ago i was going through my bag looking for my scissors in order to give this 19 year old a mullet for his birthday and i found my bag with almost all of my memory cards. so i didn’t lose all my pictures.  between that and the film i sent on with my various mules not all is lost.

and i saw a baby pigeon yesterday! how many people can say that?

some people come down from the highest mountains in the northern hemisphere to find themselves here, sun-burnt and sore in the wine country dessert city nestled in the base of Aconcagua mountain. pretty extreme.

i came by bus and have had lovely naps and stars in my eyes ever since i arrived. i discovered ice cream and that children don’t sleep in Mendoza. its been lovely wine and good food with good people all the way. it must all come to an end though after five long days of rest I’m heading back to Buenos Aries this evening. The universe loves me so very much that is gave we this wonderful planet to wander and this keyboard that sticks. so ill make this short.

I’m taking tango lesson when i get to Buenos Aries. I’m going to be a meat eating, Spanish speaking, Tango dancing, babe. mothers lock up your sons. I cant wait to be back in the big city again.  And brother gets here in 5 days so then the real party can begin. Brazil here we come……if they let us in. we still need visas.but i have a feeling that lady luck is one my side…

i hope you kittens are keeping warm.

im up late drinking again. you can take the the girl off the cruise ship but you cant take the cruise ship outta the girl.

that boat was not my finest hour. think of floating veal. all you do is eat and not move and get your muscles massaged so they are nice and tender. everything on that boat should have been forced to eat their second dessert in front of a mirror in a bathing suit. it seems only fair since i had to look at them in it that should see what i see. at least once.

i ran 12 miles everyday and then ate something covered in drawn butter. its a fucked up cycle. and I’m happy its over. but i did love the fluffy robs and wine with dinner everynight. I’m miss my momma already. that a good three weeks,

the highlight might have came the last night. i did something horrible. you know about these young republicans from new jersey? well i had never met one. until this cruise. his boy´s name was garrett we called him g bag. if he asked to see my tits one more time i would have killed him. but instead we just drew all over his face when he fell asleep at the bar. i laughed till cried.

i have to get up to speed on this thing again. Ive been having alot of what am i doing with my life moments. i have no job. no money. and no agenda. i do whatever the fuck i want all day long. i don’t know if i am ever going to fit back into the real world.

goodbye for now Chile. I’m heading back to Argentina so i can eat steak. Ive been living off pizza and muffin grease since my mother left. I’m not sure if i know how to feed myself anymore. and its so much work. back to the skinny times again. i want to curl up in a special someones bed and watch the house plants grow and not leave for days.

Pablo Neruda is owning my soul. I recommend him if you want to fall in love with an idea of love. my heart feels like it might explode. “the hardest thing in the world to do is find someone who belives in you.”  im not trying to get deep on you im just trying to ramble. i miss my wife.

woosh.

i have been deemed the princess of California and all the midgets of the world are at my whim. drank whiskey with a tom cruise look a like. and I’m working on how to speak Norwegian. 

all i do is play drinking games and eat lobster. its a hard day at the office trying on rabbit fur hats and stealing perfume from the gift shop. i promise to tell you all about my adventures on the high seas when i don’t have to pay .75 cents a minute for the Internet.  

There will be pictures of human pyramids, giant asses, Patagonia and my new favorite place, the Falken Islands.

Ive eaten snails, lamb, crab, and steak all in the same meal. god bless little floating America.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/seahorseinsouthamerica/

check out that hot mess that is my pictures from my trip all out of order but you can get the idea. in case you forgot what i look like.

The cat is outta the bag now i can let you in a on a little secret between you and me…but dont tell anyone ok? You promise?…. but pinky swear me first……ok.  I cheated on South America. oops. that’s right i went home to America del norte for feliz navidad. and gues what?…….I liked it.  that´s right.

I was a very good girl this year and my present was a ticket to Virginia to make out with the man i love. And eat lots of bacon of course. i got to hang in a house full of dogs, drink lots of whiskey, and eat full meals every 3 hours. pretty amazing. and the best part i quit smoking christmas eve was my last cigarette this is day 5 and im doing really well despite the whiskey drinking. im coughing up little black things. think that is a good sign.

now im back to living in fantasy land in Buenos Aries its been less then 24 hours and i can tell you i want to live here after New York. this is the next stop on the train kids. i found the promised land. its like barcelona only alittle grittier. fashionable like Paris only its better because its Spanish instead of French. Beautiful people walking their pure breed dogs and eating amazing meat all at the same time. the sky is a different shade of blue here and the sun doesn’t set till 9:30. i saw my favorite constellation (the person who knows what is gets the best present from my trip, lets see how well you think you know me) last night and it was upside down because I’m below the equator. hello southern hemisphere.

my first 24 hours in buenos aries have been amazing. i had a picnic lunch of fresh bread and cheese, ripe cherries and argentinien olives paired with some malbec and dark chocolate. i dined in the grass by a pond. then i died little because it was almost too much. all for about 5 dollars.

If Bogota is over run with wild dogs then Buenos Aries is fulled with sun baked well fed cats. the parks are sanctuaries for these happy little dudes they chase butterflies all day and turn there nose up to a free meal because they are fed by the park officials every night. this might be some of you peoples worst nightmare, it just made me miss my babies back home and wonder how fat they are now that im gone.

then i had the best nap of my life the kinda were you wake up every half hour or so. realize you don’t have to do a damn thing laugh and go back to sleep so proud of yourself its the most satisfying feeling. sorry to rub it in.

then i went out to dinner with my new buddies all from California were i ordered a vegetable plate and then processed to eat huge bites of all their steaks. Ive crossed over. It was almost too good. It look me back to my childhood almost. rare steak to me is the equivalent of childhood memories. your favorite summer afternoon, your sixth birthday party, whatever it maybe be just give me a grass fed steak. its that good. i will never eat anything but the best meat you can find now. total meat snob only petite filet mignon cooked perfectly bloody rare and i glass of red wine so deep red it might as well be a cup of blood. and i sat next to a vegetarian at dinner. i have no shame.

after that i watched fireworks and sipped espresso on a balcony over looking the harbor in the new part of the city. then we went for cocktails poolside at the Four Seasons, i really don’t know who i think i am . i sat amongst mounted unicorn heads in pretended this was what hell would be like as i was bathed in red lights and the water looked more like lava then anything . we toasted to our new president and the fact that we can be Americans again. all this in flip flops.

how did i pay for all this with my 28 dollars in my bank account? you might ask…..a beautiful thing called haircuts. i took 1 hour did 4 haircuts and my night was free. i love my life

im going to go hang out by the pool and wait for my momma to arrive so we can drop the ball togethere. happy new years kids! hope its amazing!

i made it to Quito in one piece. did i mention I’m down to my last 28 dollars and someone stole my shoes. that’s right I’m just in sandals and no one can explain to me why its so fucking cold this close to the equator.

Quito is blowing my mind. i washed my hands with soap today in a bathroom. it was alittle weird. i miss Colombia for all its charm but not for its lack of hygiene products. but the mud volcanoes, catherals made of salt, lost cities to trek, horse back riding, rum and explosives, scuba diving, and qwee well make up for that.

im gonna get out there kids.

so my first bus ride off the bat on this epic journey to get to Quito started out with a bang. we got the mini bus and there were on seats. i had to sit in the back of the bus. on the worst road in Colombia. somewhere between the floor and chair level squeezed in between two seats. while a nice Colombian man fed me crackers and a bag of chickens pecked at my feet. we could help but laugh because it was so ridiculous. so sore from horse back riding straight to a rocky bus ride off roading with chickens. it was perfect just another thing i want to do in Colombia before i left. now it feel right to leave.

im almost to Quito. 5 more hours to go. it look 7 hours at the boarder crossing to get into Ecuador and just as i got my stamp the power went out and i was free to go. best luck i have had all trip.

the border crossing brought a sense of camaraderie that you cant find anywhere else unless you are stuck with a bunch of strangers in your own personal little corner of hell. surrounded by garbage, rocks, the children playing with both of them and dread-locked dogs humping all around you. mix in some burning sun you only get this close to the Equator and you´ve got my day today.

but it was the rain in the end that really fucked us we had to move to the back of the line to start all over pretty much. don’t ask me how it happened. but with a cast of characters i cant even get into, by the time we crossed the boarder we were all jumping up and down and hugging we were so happy and most of them didnt even speak english. bello.

im off now to Quito before i miss my flight Ive got two days to clean up my act before my flight. and then its off to Buenas Aries for new years! miss you kittens!

today was my last day in Colombia. and one of my best. i have spent the last two days galloping at full tilt on the back of a horse. i can barely walk now and it was totally worth it. i think i might be crippled. amongst various scraps, bites, and cuts i now have to huge bruises on my inner thighs. i am in fine form right now to say the least.

these creatures were so amazing like they were running from the depths of hell. nothing could stop them. the first day we stopped in a little town for lunch and i found the two things in Colombia that i set out to do, and they were both in one place. eat guinea pig and play the nation drinking game that involves throwing stones into a pit of clay littered with explosives. only in Colombia would they consider this a except-able past time. needless to say we didnt even leave that town we staying in a cozy ranch house and stayed up all night playing drinking games and blowing things up. with our horses tide up outside. beer turned to rum, rum turned into aquadiente. roughly translated means boiling water. its the national liquor of colombia its made from sugar cane and tastes like black liquorice and rubbing alcohol. first one burns a bit then it starts going down smooth…. alittle too smooth.

has anyone spent there hangover on the back of a horse. im sure its been done but sure as hell not by me. i was fine till the horse stopped moving. was the only problem. there was still no place i would rather be. we clinbed up and down moutains that i would have trouble getting up just on horse back. it was so beautiful riding through rivers and the bottoms of waterfalls. all the fresh air you can handel. im in love. i think im getting a horse when i get back to new york. i can just ride my horse instead of taking the subway. i can be the coolest hipster in the burg if i have a horse instead of a fix gear. just think about it.

guinea pigs taste like chicken or so im told i still havent eaten chicken yet. i only want to eat the weirdest meats i can find. the served it on top of popcorn. so i had to. how could anything that comes on top of popcorn be bad i ask?  little junks of fatty meat. they even showed us the farm where they raise them. they are like fat little rats. in colombia its called quwe. and for and extra fee you can pick which one you want to eat. i didnt go that far. im still a vegtarian at heart.

i had a hot shower today. its the little things that count these days. but i left my toothbrush at the last ranch. so im not sure, but i think it evens out to me still being kinda gross.

im getting a good nights sleep and then i am taking a 36 hour bus ride to Quito, Ecuador. i cant believe my time in colombia is coming to a close, it went by so fast. i never thought that i would have falling in love with this place. if anything it was the place i was least looking forward to going to, i was scared of this place. now all i can think about is coming back before the rest of the world discovers just how amazing this place is. come to Colombia now before the touristos change it forever because wants it come off the red list everyone will be here and its nice being the only gringa in town.

viva colombia