Seahorse in South America

for those who don’t know this is a big deal. i haven’t eaten meat in 13 years! i think im going to go be sick now, it was so good. i spent all day floating in a giant ant hill filled with volcanic mud. you heard me right. and then a Colombian woman took off my bathing suit and washed me in the river. it was kinda like being in outer space and being a baby all over again all wrapped into one Colombian style. pictures to follow but i will say one thing we all look the same in the dark and covered in mud. i made moquitos for everyone staying in the hostel today. aka i am everyone favorite. siesta time before the Saturday night tradition that is salsa dancing gringo style.

“even tho you think i am…just hush for a moment and i will wrap you in my mosquito net” there are only 5 people in the world that know why that is funny. lets just say my new bunk mate got ahold of the good shit last night.

i moved to the dorm today to say the least. i now live in a bunk bed. tomorrow i will have a hammock on the beach. I’m losing weight fast, a vegetarian in Colombia who doesn’t speak Spanish is the best diet Ive found yet. get jealous. ill start spanish lessons tomorrow Ive got to get a Handel on this.

it rain so hard last night that the streets are flooded with about a foot and half of water. there are the make shift bridges that people set up made out of ply wood so you can literally” jump” from bridge to bridge to get to the other side of the road. gringos must pay to use these bridges it makes you like a sitting duck for getting pick pocketed. its either that or chance wadding thought the knee deep standing water. i swear there is everything under the sun in that water, i will spare you the details. one sip would either kill you or make you immune to every disease on the planet, the fountain of youth so gross even the most daring of gringo wouldn’t try it. I’m not willing to find out. its just a thought.  i also met a guys the other day who drank freshly killed frogs that were put in a blender a made into juice. you can see it on you tube just look up frog juice. you can do everything here

my bag has already doubled in size. I’m not quite sure how it happened but somewhere between the second hand market and me taking half of aaron´s supplies when he left i can barley get my bag closed and it has only been 6 days.

today me and my new crew Cecilia Shaun and Ana walked around the old part of the city shopping for things they are bringing back to their family in Cuba. i was invited to come back to Cuba with them for Christmas so that I’m not alone. very tempting offer. i might ditch out on south America for a minute. we will see i cant even figure out what I’m doing tomorrow let alone Christmas.

in other news left as rain got its first hit in Colombia and its a big hit. they were playing it in the hostel all night last night even after i went to bed. it was good to drift off to sleep to the sweet sound of home.

someone send me a care package of food i can eat and a camera charger. i left mine in bogota and now i cant upload pictures cuz i cant waste the battery. help.

I’m cursed. it is impossible for anyone to stay on a trip with me without losing all their money or have a family emergency that whisks them back to the states. Aaron is going home sunday at 5pm to be at his father´s bedside while he has quadruple bypass surgery. i really feel terrible for him. i could imagine what that would be like.

Looks like I’m a one man show now. as you might of guessed im staying on the trip solo. its a shock. this place is alittle less then safe. but that was the original plan before i invited Arron to come along so i guess it was meant to be.

carthagena is amazingly beautiful and everything i wanted from Colombia. it looks like lil pirates should be running around raping and pillaging this colonial city. it´s amazing more to come on that later i´ve to get ahold of myself first.

This morning i woke up around 6:30. Our hotel overlooks the main grassy square of Bogota. there must of been a pack of two dozen dogs running through the street this morning and although the streets are alive now at 10:21 with sound of cars sputtering, children laughing, and and a language i can barely understand. At 6:30 in the morning there was another soul out there. Just the dogs. it was beautiful.

i found a little note in my bag today. i little well wishes from the first world. I miss you kids too. thanks you so much. we might not always be functional but i think we are the best family we could ever ask for. i love you all very much. i needed that.

imma go nom nom lobster on the coast now. its been a long week time for the beach. My phantom daughter was in my dreams again last night, she is so cute. i think the mug-wort is still in my system, or it grows on the roof my hotel here in Colombia. i guess it likes to grow in vacant lots sometimes too. if you dont know what mug-wort is i suggest you google that shit and pop by prospect park and pick yourself up a bag. its the best way to find your spirit animal and take it for alittle ride. it is a weed that if you hang it above your bed while you sleep you will have lucid dreams, shit will fuck you up. last time i was near the stuff Ben walked into my room in chaps and a cowboy hat and tossed a smoke bomb at me giggled like a creep and ran away like squirrel, maybe Ben is my power animal. Or you can ask glen he is the majestic creature sleeping between my sheets in the princess room while im away. he might be able to tell you where to find some. it is one of his many talents, that lil wizard.

who can help me put some pictures on this thing? i think it would help.

so i made it one piece. boy arron and i havent killed one another yet and we are staying the the most beautiful hotel for like 13 dollars a night.  only 1 in every 100 people speaks more than two words of english. i miss rita and i miss my cats and im starting to miss food. it looks like not eating meat is going to got out the window. the guy at the hotel laughed when boy aaron said he didnt eat meat.

Instead of talking about what i have done in colombia i would like to mention what i havent done…i havent seen a single machine gun  (little bummed one that one), i havent been mugged, not a single chicken running wild, i havent done drugs or even so much as seen a drug deal, i havent gotten sick or gotten scammed outta of any money that i know of, gotten a parisite, or lost. thus far i have been doing a good job. between my sense of adventure and aaaron sense of direction i think we jusy night be ok.

I just want to say thank-you to anyone who put up with me the last few weeks. I just realized that my first flight is domestic which mean i get a few more hours to chill in my kitchen (glen sleeps in the princess room now) and chill out with Bella. Time to reflect on the 18 going away dues that were thrown for me by my wonderful, beautiful friends and the hundreds of tears i have cried over my 4 month vacation. As i sit here drinking tea and smoking a cigarette i stole from Erin i finally realized how lucky i am. thankyou for letting dramatise a fantastic situation. You all know me too well. Butter sandwiches, sushi and champagne (thank you Rita) was a perfect way to spend my last few hours with my kittens in New York.

Now you can all finally see a side of me that only a few on the west coast have gotten to witness. Ive stripped myself clean, paired down, taken the polish off my toes, kissed my sonicare toothbrush goodbye and I am ready to live out of my pack again. I feels good to know there is no makeup or high heels in my near future.  Still no hiking boot yet, but im sure i will get there soon i just need to get the northern hemisphere outta my system first. just took my last hot shower for i’m not sure how long. this is going to be the cleanest i will be for a long while. I’m going to go back to the sandal wearing, hammock sleeping, tree climbing “I’ll jump off anything” rugrat that you will all come to love.

Boy Aaron just asked me what happens when you go through customs…this is going to be interesting. Good thing his spanish is better than mine.

I love you all so very much. thank-you for the beautiful send off you make me feel so loved. gonna go hug all my roommates and get a car to the airport. i’ll miss you kids so much.

besos.

J

ok is packing. rita just took half my shit outts my bag said i did need it. she was right im looking pictures of the botgota airport and if one more “person tells me “how dangerious columbia is” im going to lose it. 2 more hours.