Seahorse in South America

http://www.flickr.com/photos/seahorseinsouthamerica/

check out that hot mess that is my pictures from my trip all out of order but you can get the idea. in case you forgot what i look like.

The cat is outta the bag now i can let you in a on a little secret between you and me…but dont tell anyone ok? You promise?…. but pinky swear me first……ok.  I cheated on South America. oops. that’s right i went home to America del norte for feliz navidad. and gues what?…….I liked it.  that´s right.

I was a very good girl this year and my present was a ticket to Virginia to make out with the man i love. And eat lots of bacon of course. i got to hang in a house full of dogs, drink lots of whiskey, and eat full meals every 3 hours. pretty amazing. and the best part i quit smoking christmas eve was my last cigarette this is day 5 and im doing really well despite the whiskey drinking. im coughing up little black things. think that is a good sign.

now im back to living in fantasy land in Buenos Aries its been less then 24 hours and i can tell you i want to live here after New York. this is the next stop on the train kids. i found the promised land. its like barcelona only alittle grittier. fashionable like Paris only its better because its Spanish instead of French. Beautiful people walking their pure breed dogs and eating amazing meat all at the same time. the sky is a different shade of blue here and the sun doesn’t set till 9:30. i saw my favorite constellation (the person who knows what is gets the best present from my trip, lets see how well you think you know me) last night and it was upside down because I’m below the equator. hello southern hemisphere.

my first 24 hours in buenos aries have been amazing. i had a picnic lunch of fresh bread and cheese, ripe cherries and argentinien olives paired with some malbec and dark chocolate. i dined in the grass by a pond. then i died little because it was almost too much. all for about 5 dollars.

If Bogota is over run with wild dogs then Buenos Aries is fulled with sun baked well fed cats. the parks are sanctuaries for these happy little dudes they chase butterflies all day and turn there nose up to a free meal because they are fed by the park officials every night. this might be some of you peoples worst nightmare, it just made me miss my babies back home and wonder how fat they are now that im gone.

then i had the best nap of my life the kinda were you wake up every half hour or so. realize you don’t have to do a damn thing laugh and go back to sleep so proud of yourself its the most satisfying feeling. sorry to rub it in.

then i went out to dinner with my new buddies all from California were i ordered a vegetable plate and then processed to eat huge bites of all their steaks. Ive crossed over. It was almost too good. It look me back to my childhood almost. rare steak to me is the equivalent of childhood memories. your favorite summer afternoon, your sixth birthday party, whatever it maybe be just give me a grass fed steak. its that good. i will never eat anything but the best meat you can find now. total meat snob only petite filet mignon cooked perfectly bloody rare and i glass of red wine so deep red it might as well be a cup of blood. and i sat next to a vegetarian at dinner. i have no shame.

after that i watched fireworks and sipped espresso on a balcony over looking the harbor in the new part of the city. then we went for cocktails poolside at the Four Seasons, i really don’t know who i think i am . i sat amongst mounted unicorn heads in pretended this was what hell would be like as i was bathed in red lights and the water looked more like lava then anything . we toasted to our new president and the fact that we can be Americans again. all this in flip flops.

how did i pay for all this with my 28 dollars in my bank account? you might ask…..a beautiful thing called haircuts. i took 1 hour did 4 haircuts and my night was free. i love my life

im going to go hang out by the pool and wait for my momma to arrive so we can drop the ball togethere. happy new years kids! hope its amazing!

i made it to Quito in one piece. did i mention I’m down to my last 28 dollars and someone stole my shoes. that’s right I’m just in sandals and no one can explain to me why its so fucking cold this close to the equator.

Quito is blowing my mind. i washed my hands with soap today in a bathroom. it was alittle weird. i miss Colombia for all its charm but not for its lack of hygiene products. but the mud volcanoes, catherals made of salt, lost cities to trek, horse back riding, rum and explosives, scuba diving, and qwee well make up for that.

im gonna get out there kids.

so my first bus ride off the bat on this epic journey to get to Quito started out with a bang. we got the mini bus and there were on seats. i had to sit in the back of the bus. on the worst road in Colombia. somewhere between the floor and chair level squeezed in between two seats. while a nice Colombian man fed me crackers and a bag of chickens pecked at my feet. we could help but laugh because it was so ridiculous. so sore from horse back riding straight to a rocky bus ride off roading with chickens. it was perfect just another thing i want to do in Colombia before i left. now it feel right to leave.

im almost to Quito. 5 more hours to go. it look 7 hours at the boarder crossing to get into Ecuador and just as i got my stamp the power went out and i was free to go. best luck i have had all trip.

the border crossing brought a sense of camaraderie that you cant find anywhere else unless you are stuck with a bunch of strangers in your own personal little corner of hell. surrounded by garbage, rocks, the children playing with both of them and dread-locked dogs humping all around you. mix in some burning sun you only get this close to the Equator and you´ve got my day today.

but it was the rain in the end that really fucked us we had to move to the back of the line to start all over pretty much. don’t ask me how it happened. but with a cast of characters i cant even get into, by the time we crossed the boarder we were all jumping up and down and hugging we were so happy and most of them didnt even speak english. bello.

im off now to Quito before i miss my flight Ive got two days to clean up my act before my flight. and then its off to Buenas Aries for new years! miss you kittens!

today was my last day in Colombia. and one of my best. i have spent the last two days galloping at full tilt on the back of a horse. i can barely walk now and it was totally worth it. i think i might be crippled. amongst various scraps, bites, and cuts i now have to huge bruises on my inner thighs. i am in fine form right now to say the least.

these creatures were so amazing like they were running from the depths of hell. nothing could stop them. the first day we stopped in a little town for lunch and i found the two things in Colombia that i set out to do, and they were both in one place. eat guinea pig and play the nation drinking game that involves throwing stones into a pit of clay littered with explosives. only in Colombia would they consider this a except-able past time. needless to say we didnt even leave that town we staying in a cozy ranch house and stayed up all night playing drinking games and blowing things up. with our horses tide up outside. beer turned to rum, rum turned into aquadiente. roughly translated means boiling water. its the national liquor of colombia its made from sugar cane and tastes like black liquorice and rubbing alcohol. first one burns a bit then it starts going down smooth…. alittle too smooth.

has anyone spent there hangover on the back of a horse. im sure its been done but sure as hell not by me. i was fine till the horse stopped moving. was the only problem. there was still no place i would rather be. we clinbed up and down moutains that i would have trouble getting up just on horse back. it was so beautiful riding through rivers and the bottoms of waterfalls. all the fresh air you can handel. im in love. i think im getting a horse when i get back to new york. i can just ride my horse instead of taking the subway. i can be the coolest hipster in the burg if i have a horse instead of a fix gear. just think about it.

guinea pigs taste like chicken or so im told i still havent eaten chicken yet. i only want to eat the weirdest meats i can find. the served it on top of popcorn. so i had to. how could anything that comes on top of popcorn be bad i ask?  little junks of fatty meat. they even showed us the farm where they raise them. they are like fat little rats. in colombia its called quwe. and for and extra fee you can pick which one you want to eat. i didnt go that far. im still a vegtarian at heart.

i had a hot shower today. its the little things that count these days. but i left my toothbrush at the last ranch. so im not sure, but i think it evens out to me still being kinda gross.

im getting a good nights sleep and then i am taking a 36 hour bus ride to Quito, Ecuador. i cant believe my time in colombia is coming to a close, it went by so fast. i never thought that i would have falling in love with this place. if anything it was the place i was least looking forward to going to, i was scared of this place. now all i can think about is coming back before the rest of the world discovers just how amazing this place is. come to Colombia now before the touristos change it forever because wants it come off the red list everyone will be here and its nice being the only gringa in town.

viva colombia

its these little round things they are red and they come on pizza. i think you carnivores call them peperoni. and dare i say at the risk of offending someone, i wasn’t that impressed. sorry kids. oops.

i cried today. don’t feel sorry for me yet. it was at the end of the time loved classic Disney film Cool Runnings when they carry the seld over the finish line. and to top it off it was in Spanish, i dont know if that made it better or worse.

you try taking a 15 hour night bus from Santa Marta to Medellin, by the 19th hour of that bus ride you’ll be crying too. then bus stopped twice in the middle of the night for random pat downs and bag checks. getting woken up by a policia in the middle of the night only to corralled on to a dirt road at three in the morning to have you pockets checked for drugs like a mule and you have no idea what is going on because your still asleep can be rough on the nerves.

Medellin is beautiful. went to my first football game right after checking into the hostel and eating pizza. it was like being at home for a second. but straight after that it was pretty much chaos. screaming and singing white and green banners running across the bleachers when a goal was scored everyone on surged forward and all i could think about was getting pick pocketed at any second or getting trapped or even worse spilling my beer. it was so much fun. it ended in tear gas with the home team losing 4 to 1. i got out of there before that. and as i was leaving got a stand ovation from the grandstand. gringa wave to the crowd. i think i could make myself a nice life here if i learned some spanish.

of string woven together that i happen to pick up all long the way have alot of meaning tied up in them little life lesson that choose to keep to myself at the moment. i hope everyone saw how beautiful the full moon was last night. i salsa danced under it while a hot wind kicked up all the dust in taganga. its was so beautiful. it finally hit me last night. I’m travelling now. im in Colombia. my heart never does me wrong i think im going to follow it everywhere for the rest of my life. im in love with my life. i see at least one seahorse everyday. Lucinda (i have decided to name my first daughter Lucinda by the way and she will speak 3 languages as well) saw one while diving in the ocean yesterday she said it was sleeping and really cute. i only wish. but if i see a seahorse in the wild i will never have another reason to go in the ocean again. i just need to know they are out there and that’s enough for me. in other news i have finally realized just how much i have back home. I’m miss you all so much you little jerks. i cant wait to come home and fall madly in love with all of you all over again. Especially Alex. have i told you how amazing you are lately? I love you.

i keep forgeting to breathe.

and there is nothing any of you can do to stop me. I’m going to Medellin tomorrow. night bus so pack a midnight snack. Ive got more tricks up my sleeve than a rabbit. I’m am pretty proud of myself these days. i have become a fish and mind you it was for free. i have discovered ciparanias, i have swung in at least 16 different hammocks, performed surgery, all in a day at the office now i must leave the coast. my heart longs for a city again, although the invite to learn to juggle was tempting i must leave the hippie commune of taganga. this dusty little town was alomst enough to hold me down but a girls gotta get a move on for equador sometime. and in other news i miss rita. rita rita rita.

im am going on a six day long trek into the amazon rain forset tomorrow in search of a lost/found city. colombia´s maichu picu so to speak getting to the base camp was not easy though. it was a long stop and go bus ride from cartehenga to santa martia. it was filled puppies in plastic bags with thier heads popping out finches in cages and of course my old friend spanish. people look at you like you have to heads when they figure out that you are a white female who doesnt speak the language travelling alone. with good reason. wish me luck.

I’m back in one piece almost. i have been eaten alive by bugs, covered in mud, drank water straight from the river, and been revived by a ingenious coky medicine man in the middle of the jungle after passing out and hitting my chin on a rock. now i have almost done everything. he said the new J shaped scar i have on my chin was a sign from the gods. i mean i fainted face first. not like in the movies where you fall backwards but just took a digger face first right into a rock. smooth move. i don’t remember next thing i know i flutter my eyes open on to find myself in the hut of the local medicine man who pretty much said i smoke too much and gave me a tonic made out of coco leaves to drink before sending me on my merry way.

it was one of the hardest and most rewarding things i have ever done in my life. i am also really happy that it is over and i am clean for the first time in almost a week. this trek involved crossing rivers on foot climbing up waterfalls (think destiny´s child the survivor video) hiking in ten inches of mud in deep jungle lost style. i will lose both of my big toenails by Christmas for sure from all the down hill climbing. the life lessons #347 next time i will buy the hiking boots.

and now for my next trick…. i will be starting scuba diving lessons for my open water license tomorrow and then i am going to Medellin for paragliding classes for my Christmas present to myself. i wont be making it out of Colombia before i have to meet my mom. I’m having way to much fun here playing with all the extreme sports. i have to take it all in before this place becomes a tourist hot spot as soon as they take it off the red list, and the kidnapping subsides.

in other news i got the offer to go to a cocaine lab in the jungle, i didn’t take the offer it was 30,000 pesos (too much to visit a fake coke lab). this place is like coke Disneyland.