unicorns that cry diamonds for an hour a day.

i have been deemed the princess of California and all the midgets of the world are at my whim. drank whiskey with a tom cruise look a like. and I’m working on how to speak Norwegian. 

all i do is play drinking games and eat lobster. its a hard day at the office trying on rabbit fur hats and stealing perfume from the gift shop. i promise to tell you all about my adventures on the high seas when i don’t have to pay .75 cents a minute for the Internet.  

There will be pictures of human pyramids, giant asses, Patagonia and my new favorite place, the Falken Islands.

Ive eaten snails, lamb, crab, and steak all in the same meal. god bless little floating America.

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